It is over…

Me: everything has finished
Mr. X: tell me
Me: she had called me I didn’t answer it, then later I called her and she told me that she didn’t want to keep this relationship any more and decided to break with me
i don’t know what to do now… i feel empty, strange, like I have been fooled all this time… but I’m dumb and I know it
Mr. X: point number 1
eres tonto, taking that point into account, lets keep on
I told you that you should’ve broken with her
Why? Because nothing is worth if she does it
because she was making you sad
and have used you as a tool
Me: i feel like a fucking toy
Mr. X: don’t feel bad or sad, just think something
Me: and i know it
Mr. X: do you want to spend your live with a person like that?
no verdad?
you’re not compatible each other
Me: it’s like I’m so fucking dumb…
Mr. X: yes
and that’s is what she likes doing… she is not for you henxu…
that’s what you should look for at first glance
that means you were not in love with her
you only liked her physical appearance
because loving her would be : you even like how she is
ten eso claro
Me: i loved her … i knew what I would get staying with her, & I still wanted to be with her cuz I …. love her…

Mr. X: no
very bad
you don’t love her
is like a “reflejo”
you’re alone and she has left you
el palo ha ido hacia ti
when time passes by
you will know that I am right and you are not
but it is normal that you’re depressed now and…
you have to bear with it, this is life
Me: Yes… I know, don’t tell me welcome to life
Mr. X : Then, welcome to life.
but, there is an easy way to get over this, look for another girlfriend
Me: i’m not even depressed
Mr. X: what is the meaning of “not even”
Me: i’ve been talking for a hour with a friend over telephone, and i feel better than before
Mr. X: see?
you were going to break with her
and you were going to break with her because she was not the one you were looking for you two looked like enemies than a couple
she doesn’t care what happens to you, she has been cruel with you and that’s it, pasa página.
don’t be sad because of this
you have to be fine and happy…

It is not that I am tired of this… I can say that I’m not tired of loving her, but I am tired of being a little toy, like a little machine without feelings. I think of myself like “Amélie”, I care a lot about people at my side, I wish sooooooo much their happiness that I even forget my own’s (happiness)…

I am not able to be even a bit selfish… But anyways, it is what a lot of people expected, and I expected this ending too, however I feel quite strange… I don’t know what to believe, what to think… I doubted a lot of times what she had told me, but then something happen and changed my mind, and I started to fully believe her, until I fell in a black hole with no bottom.

I remember that I promised her to be her friend, no matter what could occur, that I will be at her side… We may not be a couple anymore, but hope I can still be her friend if she wants to…

I am not going to hate her for doing this, I knew this would end sooner or later. There is nothing more that I can do… I won’t try to solve this if she doesn’t want to.

Even though, I can’t run away from my own feelings…
Then, Why do I love her?

It is funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces.



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